As I'm sure most people that know me already know I am pagan. I have been pagan since I was 15 years old. Some people find this strange since my mother is Catholic and my father was by the best definition Agnostic. Honestly my parents raised me to think and make decisions for myself. I wasn't forced to even pretend to believe in anything. LOL
I did give the Christian religion a chance and found that it didn't fit me. I felt nothing calling me to believe in the book the churches that I frequented found so valuable. By the time I made the decision to be pagan I had read 3 different versions of the bible and found it lacking in my opinion. For those of you who have never done so I would suggest sitting down with a copy of the Catholic bible, the King James and the NIV and do your own comparison. I don't say this to test anyone's faith or be disrespectful. I found it interesting in just how different they really are. This I was to find was nothing in comparison to the differences between older and newer versions of the bible. I tried to discuss this with several members of clergy only to have myself read the riot act and get end up with no explanation.
I went to several different kind of Churches. I tried Catholic church, Baptist and Protestant. None of these churches did what any of them claimed that they would do. Not once was I welcomed with open arms, nobody tried to educate me or help me find my way in the church. I even approached people in the church for help with that and was basically brushed off. As a matter of fact I was asked on several occasions to leave churches due to asking questions. I was looked down upon because I was a child with no money nor desire to wear fancy dresses to church on Sunday. I have heard from several people that "I just didn't find the right church", "I should have overlooked these bad people" and "This would never happen at my church". All of these statements I even heard from members of the very churches that I was having these experiences at.
I even went and attempted to be "saved". Imagine if you will my being 12 years old, my father had just died, my mother had lost her marbles since his death and I wanted nothing more than to feel secure and safe. I was completely willing, completely open, began reading the bible by myself, started attending church as often as I could and put all my effort into becoming Christian. Then one evening at the church closest to my house came my big opportunity. They began talking about being "saved" and how awesome if felt etc. I tried and nothing. I felt absolutely zip. That I think was my first clue that Christianity just wasn't for me. I had tried it with all the gusto and ferver that I could manage and yet I was still Godless. I had been more than willing and wanted very badly to feel something and there was nothing there.
I have to admit that by the time I was 13 I had continued to go to church on occasion. This was for me more of a social event and an excuse to get out of the house. By this time I had mostly limited myself to Hoskins Ave Baptist Church as it was within just a couple minutes walking distance of my house and I had my dearest Lawry that was still being forced to go there. While on most days I showed up on time and was unobtrusive to the congregation I do have to be honest and say that I didn't mind causing a stir. A good deal of the time I limited this to being so disrespectfull as to drag someone that would wear a shirt that said "remember kids, satan loves you" for example or leaving early but on some days it could be more interesting. I have to be fair and say that in my opinion the preacher was asking for it. He was far too into the hellfire and brimstone and not the least bit diplomatic about it. There were conversations about mixing races, rock music and the like that I could go into and may at a later date. After a while it was more sport to go and see if he would open his mouth in a direction that would set something afire. Honestly there were times when my friends and I did say some things that were at the very least inappropriate but we were children and this was only after we were pretty much shown we didn't matter there.
At any rate, I gave up the habit of going to church by the time I was 14. By that time it wasn't fun anymore and I had better things to do. It was around then that I became interesting in learning about other religions. I read what books I could find at the library or borrow from friends and when I was 15 my mother started buying books for me. She was amazingly supportive in my research and even when I told her that I had made the decision to be pagan.
When I opened myself to the God and Goddess I felt it. I didn't magically think that all my life would be sugar sweet and perfect but I was at peace with the facts. I have yet to meet a pagan that demands that I practice my religion a certain way, tell me that I would be in torment for all of eternity for believing differently from them or look down on me because I don't do things exactly their way. Pagans vary just as much as those of the Christian faith but I never see them arguing and bickering like a bunch of kids. I'm sure that there are pagans out there that "hate" Christians, are intolerant of others and act idiotically but at the same time there are those of every religion. I have yet to research a pagan religion that says you should kill those that believe differently but that is written prominently in most of the mainstream religions. I'm not saying the majority practice this but it is a fact that it is there in the majority of these "holy" books.
Since I started being online about the time that I was 19, I have been bashed and harrased a few times for my religious beliefs. I've always looked at it as being infrequent in the grand scheme of things. I don't try to hide my religion but I don't try to pronounce it to the world in flashing neon either. In the begining of my adventures online I engaged in several religious conversations and they generally ended in nastiness. I never understood it but I didn't take it personally either. Now I go by a pretty strict policy to not discuss religion and if I do I only do so with a few select people. For most people it is a subject that brings out the worst in them and I don't care to see that.
As a general rule I don't ask about others religion. It is normally pretty evident by things they say, the way that they behave or things they post. Regardless of being in person or talking to someone online only you can usually tell what religion they are. I am normally willing to tell someone about my religion and why I chose it but I won't debate the issue. I don't judge others by their religion and I don't ask them to defend their choice to be a certain religion. I just don't understand why others seem to.
It is my opinion that all religions lead you down the same path. I know that there are a few exceptions but just let me generalize and say all. When you boil them down to the core all religions encourage you to be a good person, to care for yourself and your family, to treat others in a civil manner, to trust in an afterlife, to know that there is more to life than just you and what you want right this second and use some common sense. I could go on and list more but honestly the core of all religions are far more similar than they have ever been different. I wish that more people would research and learn about other religions before they judge them. As it stands now I have a 12 year old son that is pagan and I have to remind him to keep that information to himself. There is far too much misunderstanding and persecution that he could open himself up to in person. This I find sad but needed.
With Cody's Hemophilia I have had to deal with Social Services investigations on several occasions and during one of those I was questioned about my religion. This took on more of the inquisition feel than the curiosity. I was assured that they would be researching what I told them. *pssshhhh* I was pretty much told that I needed to be prepared to have to get a lawyer to keep my child just because I wasn't Christian or one of the other "mainstream" religions. This sort of thing happens all the time to a much worse degree. If you don't believe it then look it up. There are a multitude of cases where much worse has happened and they are very easy to find. Persecution has happened to every religion and still continues to happen to this very day. Therefore understand that I am Pagan and I am proud of that but when the need arises I will stay in the broom closet. LOL
0 It was said!.
care to exchange link? 
I have missed you so. I am sorry to hear things are not going well for you, I will send you loving strength filled energies. Oh go to my blog if you like to read my latest Angels message 
It may make your heart swell a bit
Come see the beggar that came to my door when you get a chance. 
I miss you both and am so happy to hear from you, was really worried about you all 
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